Introduction

The following poems are literal descriptions of Devi Kaarini's direct experiences of Tantric Initiation by Acharya Peter Wilberg - a tantra of the soul body evoking powerfully sensual experiences of soul body intimacy and intercourse, allowing the soul of the divine to pervade one's body and the respendant faces of the divine to reveal themselves directly to one's inner gaze - face to face with one's Guru.

DANCING WITH THE UNIVERSE


Your eyes turn inward,

And I feel you going under

Into the depths of inner space

Where your universe

Becomes the same as mine,

The same that we share

With every consciousness

In and out of this world.

We could meet there.

Sometimes we do but today

We explore on our own,

Yet are aware, marginally or,

If we choose to fully, of each other.

I sense the darkness

And the jagged edges you navigate

To find your treasures.



Then I turn inward

And steer my soul body

Deep into the dark sea

That is my being.



Out of this darkness comes a sound.

Or does the darkness become sound?

A sound? No, not one

But all the sounds

That have ever been uttered,

That will ever be uttered,

That are resounding

Through the world right now.

Each of them clearly to hear

All of them sounding together

In a mighty wave

Sweeping me up,

Surrounding and permeating,

And being all that is there.

And the sounds are sparkling

As if every single note was

A tiny explosion of joy.



I am sound, become

A being made of sound and light and fullness,

And the universe dances

Within me as I dance with

The universe – for aeons.

Full of bliss I return to you.





BEHOLD THE SERPENT



Behold him in his glorious joy:

Obsidian coils glistening against

The darkness of the Void

Where he frolics.

His mighty sinewy trunk

Weaves being

On the loom

Of time.



Behold him in his cunning

When he draws his black body erect,

His lush velvet shadow

Languidly caressing your spine.

His eyes like dark and distant flames

Scorch what he sees

With a cold fire.



Behold him in his golden splendour

When he has shed his old skin

And become wise.

When he towers over you now

The fire in his eyes

Illuminates what is

With wry, loving

Amusement.





THE BODY OF BLISS



You start meditating,

Entering your bliss body

With eyes almost closed

Your face enraptured.



I move into my bliss body

And begin to resonate with you.

Ahhh, shivers of pleasure

Flow through my body

As the tones of your being

Reverberate through me and

The instrument that is my soul

Resounds in harmony.

You respond with a sensuous smile

And the serpent begins

To uncoil her body.



At first my touch is tentative

Yet it reveals every time

A different face of yours, then

A different body is emerging.

In front of my eyes.

Shiva has entered you

And through your eyes

He addresses me

As his Goddess

With reverence and love.



And our souls dance

Gently caressing each other at first

Touching here and there

Fluid and flowing around each other.

Then faster yet without urgency.

Weaving a joyful pattern of love.

And the Goddess rejoices

In her sensuous bliss

As Shiva’s body writhes with pleasure

His gaze enchanting,

His soul taking me

Higher and higher

My soul responding

Gasping, swooning

My bliss body merging with his

In a sea of sound and darkness,

Swirling heat that burns

Into my heart and heals it.

You have taken me, Shiva,

Taken me in my fullness

Saying yes to all of me,

Your soul singing our love.



And every pore of my body breathes

Your light, my light and the divine light

In which we both have our abode.

Overflowing with bliss

I cry out and laugh with joy

And you join in the laughter

And for a moment we are

Human again.



You move your chair

To sit in front of me -

Your knees touch mine,

Your eyes burning with intent.

I feel you entering me,

A different force now than before.

Warm waves of voluptuous fullness

Well up from my womb.

Your power deftly explores

Where it needs to go

Yet subtle, without agenda,

Following what it finds

Yet knowing what it wants to achieve.



We move closer together.

Our faces almost touching

We breath in the fragrance of each others soul

Savouring the delicate sweetness

Emanating in thousand tones

From the joy of our union.

And my soul finds in you

The places that need healing

And I breathe over you

What I took from your soul breath

After savouring it,

Wedding it to mine,

Transforming it through knowing

Into medicine

That heals us both.

And the fragrance of our souls

We give back to each other

As nectar. Our eyes

Are full of it and overflowing.



Our soul bodies take a backward step

To behold each other in this new found bliss.

Yet I feel Kula hot within me,

Dark light in the darkness of my womb.

And then I see the movements of your hands.

Hands that grow out of, overlay

Your fleshly ones,

And visible for me as they.

Hands that move and shape

A poem of Mudras.

One after the other

Like something you’ve learnt by heart

And practiced for lifetimes,

Fluid, fast, speaking without hesitation.



You move closer again,

Your exploring gets more urgent,

Mounting pleasure opens every cell

Ready to take in what ever

You give.

And what a gift it is

That takes me by surprise:

You speak to me.

The coils of your intent.

Teach me what you do

And how you do it

As you probe and move and give and take.

I am enraptured

Can there be something so much more

Powerful and deep,

Exciting and exhilarating

Than the exquisite bliss that

made me swoon before?

Yes! And I feel you moving in me,

Being moved by what you are moving

To go further, and higher, and deeper

Seeking the boundary

But there is none.



Dark red hot waves pulse through me,

Bhairava rises in me hot and hard,

Throwing me, carrying me

Illuminated by the dark radiant light

Of the Kula within my womb

He is splendid.

And I am one with him,

One with the waves,

I am the waves

Smashing against no shore,

I am the sea, the world,

The Goddess, I AM.



You teach me the wisdom

Of my soul body

As you know it,

Its width and breadth,

Its unfathomable depth and

Its heights that would make me dizzy

Did I not recognize them as myself.



You teach me the language of TANTRA

And I understand every word.

My responses come halting first

Repeating what I learned.

Then tentatively forming words

Addressing you.

My active vocabulary still small, yet

Our two voices sing

A powerful song that

Fills the space around us

In which we dance,

Teach, learn, cleave to each other, love and heal.



Enough, learning a new language takes time.

I am full, I need to savour now,

Digest what I have taken in,

Take a step back

And see the gift before me.

I need to study your tantric words

Which are reverberating in my soul

And bring them

Into my flesh body, into my bones,

To make them mine.

I need to explore the new space

You have opened and filled.

I am no longer

Who I was before.

I bow before you, beloved teacher

Who gives selflessly.



But you are also

No longer who you were.

I see it in your eyes

As they look at me

With love and joy and pride and some surprise.

I smile at you, Beloved,

knowing we have renewed

Our vows.






THE GIFT OF SWEETNESS



No-thing, AKULA, living void,

What powers you've got!

Within you

Everything

Is possible,

Everything

Comes into being

Through you.



When I beheld Akula

There was nothing to see

And yet

I felt drawn

To melt my body

And become

One with the void.

Strange no-thing

Oh, so subtle your drift

So intangible your presence

Yet unmistakable

Now that I have learnt

To smell your scent

On my skin,

To feel your touch

Shaping the space around me.

Filled with a sweetness

Delicious like the nectar of the gods

I came back to myself.

Changed, I returned

Into a changed body.

Now the sweetness,

Lingering on,

Tells me of you

The moment I stop to remember.

The gifts of Akula

Are precious

Beyond measure.





MAHASHIVRATRI



Silver sliver of the crescent moon

Shiva dances his Dance of Creation and Destruction

In every cell of my body.

Creation or Destruction,

There is only Shiva.



Magenta Flames of His Ring of Fire

Engulf the devotee inside and out

until there is nothing but flames.

No heat,

Only Shiva.

Thoughts form.

I feel their stirring

Yet when they emerge

Each spells only

One name.

There is only Shiva






THE FOUNDATION OF SHAKTI



Come, my Beloved,

Let your light shine

So that I can open

The gate to the garden.



By the hand I will take thee

And lead you

To the well

Of the Goddess.



Drink deeply from the source

Of her power.

Partake of her shakti

Until you are sated.



Then

With a silent prayer

Bow

To her grace and bounty.







DARK DEVI



From the deepest depth

I called the dark Devi

Wanting her to rise

To feel her power

In my fleshly vessel.



Huge was my head

And my neck was swelling.

Would she burst my veins?



The body fought her

Trying to keep her imprisoned

And in her anger

She strained and shook

Yet the body did not yield.



Rigid all limbs and the back,

Like a wooden board

The belly –

Such pain, such trembling.



Yet I did not stop inviting.

Knowing that I was safely held

In the embrace of Shiva

I let her into my eyes.



That’s when the dance began

Of Shiva and the Dark Devi.

And did not end

Before she was spent

And yielding,

My limbs languid.







MAHADEVI DURGA



So subtle is DURGA

That she is like a breeze

A warm springtime wind

Bringing sweet scent of souls.



Swaying in the draught

And yearning for her sweet nectar

Durga is the nectar and the draught

In quiet ecstasy.

We are durga.

Durgaye nama om.



Yet someone stronger comes,

No wind but

A space that holds all winds

In its expanse

Wide enough

To embrace the universe.



Who is she,

This Goddess

That holds your soul in her embrace

As if it was a child,

Your soul that worships her.



Blessing the worshipper

She draws into herself

Where she is Durga and Shiva,

Where Shakti is asleep,

No Spanda

Just repose and stillness.

Everything is possible

Nothing is manifest.

There is only

Mahadevi.







SILENCE WHISPERS



The sea of forgetting opens and closes

Revealing glimpses of what has been -

Fleetingly, with no order.



Deepening space, down, down

Your hands and mine pointing,

Creating until we are both

Fathomless and enclosed

in fathomlessness, and



In the depth our chests are drawn

Close to one another

Warmth reverberates

Scent ascends.



Heat, oh such heat,

Shoots up my back.

And then sound –

There it is again,

The music of the universe

Within and around me.

Bliss.



And back into the depth

Where wordless knowing

Resides and shines through your eyes

And silence whispers.






THE GUNAS



TAMAS

Go down into darkness,

Let darkness fill me,

Let me become, not darkness

But black.

Legs like black coal,

The whole body like black coal.

Inside, the coal liquidises

And fills me with fluid

Shimmering black

Up to my neck

Then into my head.

How can I let this black

Show in my eyes?

Give a black look!

That's hard.

There is no hate,

No emotion,

Just blackness.

All black apart from my look.

But then I manage.



RAJA.


Breathe red into myself

And breathe out red.

With every breath

Red rises, I imagine.

Heat, fire, vitality.

A bull seeing red.

But all is more imagination

Than resonance

With your awareness colour.

Yet my body trembles.



SATTVA


White light pours into me,

Milk-white light fills me

And courses through my flesh.

White covers me like a garment

Brilliant white, than golden white

And sweetness enraptures me,

Living light, joyful and radiant.




NIRGUNA


Space between the atoms of my body,

Space between the atoms of everything,

Clear, transparent space

Within, without, everywhere

There is nothing but

Clear transparent space,

All-pervading, all-embracing, full.

How can a clear transparent space be full?

Not with anything, just empty and

Full at the same timeless time.

Complete!

There is nothing but space

Complete and fulfilled

Everything accomplished

Everything in becoming

At the same timeless time.

And the clear, transparent,

Full and empty space is also

The bodiless awareness

Of your and my body.

Spacious Awareness

Merged together as one.

No one but You,

My Lord, you are everything,

There is nothing that is not Shiva.

My Lord of the Living Light.






THE GO(l)D MAN


Glorious to behold is the Go(l)d-Man.

His golden radiance - a beauty unsurpassed.

Go(l)d-Man is Man

Sporting the image

Of nature fulfilled:

Fulfilled the beingness as being,

This Being.

The seer's soul fills with delight

As radiance reaches down to its depth -

And love spreads into the body's every cell,

And deepest joy

Mingles

With deep humility.






BHAIRAVA (1)



Lord, Thou art merciful.

Your mercy is to not relent

Until you've cut out with your trident

The very last son of Asura

Spawned in my anxious mind.

Your mercy is to cauterize the wound with

Fire of your fearsome eye

That makes me forget the pain.

Your mercy is not to relent

Despite my screams and theirs

Until at last I'm free

To say 'I am'

And know its truth.

Bhairava,

My beloved Lord,

Thou art terrifying

And

Awesome.







BHAIRVA (2)


After surrendering to you

And taking your body into mine

Until

I no longer know

Whose body is touching whose

The silver serpent glides right

Through us

And reaches our heart.

This is where you now rest,

My Lord of fire and darkness.